Wednesday, 6 July 2022

About Me: Update

Hi everyone. As you all know, I started this blog for my Duke of Edinburgh Bronze Award 2 years ago. I kept it going throughout year 10 and 11 due to my love of reading and how it really helped me process and consolidate what I had read. I have decided I'm also going to use this blog to share any experiences that I think might help other people and to show that although I try hard to live life like the magical fantasies I read about, life is just not like that. So I'm going to begin by explaining the most hectic year I have had.

This year I went through one of the most stressful times I've ever known: I completed my GCSEs. For those of you who don't know what GCSEs are, they are set of exams on all the subjects you were taught in secondary school that occur in May-June time. For the past two years I've been studying towards these exams hoping and dreading that they would be cancelled like in previous years due to the pandemic. I'm not sure if I was fortunate or unfortunate by the fact that I did sit my exams, but either way I sat 28 exams starting from the 16th of May and finishing on the 23rd of June. 

I spent year 10 and 11 in my room revising every second that I had because I was not going to fail my exams or get low grades because I didn't work hard enough. I know that I might have been a bit hard on myself but at least this way I know I did everything I could to make sure that I got the grade that I deserved. Now I know it's still not a really good representation of what you are like as a person and what you could really achieve, but these exams define everything and I was not about to let them define my future in the wrong way. 

For the past few months I have been told by friends, family and even teachers that I should not work as hard as I am working and that I should relax a little bit, but they don't know is that you can't achieve the top grades by only doing a couple of hours of revision a day. So, as a result, I sat down at my desk and revised for over 6 hours every evening, which is basically all the time that we have after school. For a while I lost all confidence in myself and all motivation, but I kept reminding myself that the main goal was to see those grades and know that I deserve them and hopefully they were what I wanted.

Another thing that really kept me going was the fact that one of my friends was working equally as hard as me and I always knew that, when I was sat at my desk, she was also sat at hers and, when I was struggling to keep going, she was also struggling. I know that there were probably many other people who were also working just as hard as me and if you're one of those people who is able to work that hard and to keep going then all I can say to you is to not listen to what anyone says because in the end it's your grades and it's your life, so you work as hard as you want and as hard as you can because in the end it will all be worth it because you will be able to achieve anything through hard work. It may take you a while and it might lead to many sleepless nights or nights where you just cry yourself to sleep because, believe me, it is not easy, but I think and hope that it is going to lead to success in the end. (My view may change when I get my results though!)

Now, if you're the kind of person who doesn't work and thinks that they can just cram all of their revision into the night before the exam then I have a very different piece of advice for you. Work and work hard because in the end it will be worth it and even if you are thinking that you can't get any good grades because you're too dumb or just don't have the motivation, but you will be able to do it if you just set a goal. My goal might be impossible in some people's eyes and I might have extremely high expectations myself, but each person is different and if you are just aiming for a pass, then work for it and don't let anything stand in your way. 

Some of you may be thinking that I'm only saying this stuff because I have a very clear idea of what I want to do in the future and I have a clear goal, so it's not that hard for me to stay motivated. However, my life is completely different and I don't know anything about what I want to do in the future. I try so hard to think about what I may want to do, but it is impossible. I don't know what I like, when I'm good at, what I want to do, and I don't know how I'm going to figure out what job I want in the future, especially at this age. There is so much pressure on teenagers and most people don't see it. But I know that if I work hard and I try my best that maybe, when I get to the point where I actually know what I want to do, that I have the grades that I need for it and all my life wasn't just wasted. So if you know what you want to do, don't let anything stop you from achieving your dream, but if you are in the same situation as I am in and you have no clue and you don't know when you are never going to find out, then just keep going and just keep hoping that one day you'll find out.

I will be getting my GCSE results on the 25th of August (I have to wait 2 months and it is torture!) and I can't stop thinking about what I will see when I open them. If you don't know, the grading system for these exams is numbers. The highest you can get is a 9 (above an A*) and the pass grade is a 4 (a low C). I want all 7s, 8s and 9s (As and above). This may seem like a lot or little for some people, but everyone has different expectations, so you aim for what is right for you. 

While I was revising and preparing for my exams, I made the decision to not read as it would have just made things a lot more stressful as I would have had a lot less time to revise. However, I don't know if it would have actually been better if I did read, but I am glad that now all my exams are over and I can finally pick up a book and read like I've been meaning to the past few months. If you've been following my posts then it may seem weird to you that I carried on posting a review every week on Wednesdays as I normally do, but the main reason for that is due to the fact that during the summer holidays I spent the whole time reading and I read practically a book a day, so I ended up with so many book reviews this summer that I decided to have them scheduled to publish each week. So by the time I finished my exams I had caught up to the point where I had my scheduled reviews, so the next review will be in real time and will be the first book that I have picked up since December. 

I hope you continue to enjoy reading my reviews and they help you find a book you love. I also hope that you find this helpful and if you are struggling in school with anything at all that this helps you stay hopefully. So my final message to you all is to be brave and stay strong because, even though things seem tough, it will all be worth it in the end.  

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